Photo Malpractice

I decided to get a passport. No, I am not traveling outside of the country I have just always wanted one. There were other considerations at the time that pushed me to it, but the basic reason to get it was simply because it would make me feel important.

Now everyone knows that you look terrible in your driver's license and passport photos. I think they do it on purpose so you can't copy it and put it in your family Christmas cards. Whatever the reason it is the unwritten law of the world that those official IDs must have a terrible picture of the barer. That having been said I think they went to extreme lengths with mine.

You can see by my profile picture that I wear facial hair. Just a little scruffy. Not a beard. Five o'clock shadow I think it is called. It can get a little longer if I am lazy, but most of the time just a little scruff. The day I went to get my passport photo I had just a touch over a five o'clock. I had shaved the day before down to my normal scruff. The length of my facial hair is very important. Again I point you to my profile picture. That is almost exactly how my facial hair looked when I looked into the mirror that morning before setting out to get my passport.

I sit on the stool in front of the little white background and the lady snaps my picture. She shows it to me and my hair was a little messed up so I smoothed it and she took another. Showed it to me and I was satisfied that it looked as good as it was going to get. This, however, is what popped out of the printer...






I swear as God is my witness this has not been altered or photo shopped in any way. The printer put a freaking beard on me and made my face fat! So I had to ask myself... Why? What could the passport photo printer possibly have against me? Then it hit me. That poor photo printer has to sit there pumping out semi smiling faces day in and day out with no variety at all. So in a moment of spite it put a beard on my picture and took comfort in the fact that I would be questioned at every boarder crossing and suspected of terrorism. It decided to make me look like a stereo typical terrorist so that it could get a little giggle.

Well the joke is on it! The probability of me ever actually using the passport is very slim! And THAT ladies, gentlemen, and those in between; is all for now. Until next time... BUBBLES!!!