While on vacation in Arkansas I noticed something that was both hilarious and deeply disturbing. Maybe it is just me, but I'll let you decide for yourself. Especially given that the state of Tennessee has just recently reiterated the law that prohibits someone from putting something "offensive" on your car where other vehicles can see it.
We stopped at a Wal-Mart for supplies and I noticed something hanging from the trailer hitch of a parked truck beside us. Naturally I had to inspect it. From where I was standing it looked like an upside down, misshapen, blue heart. Naturally as any sane human would I found this a very odd thing to put on a truck. Especially a big burly work truck like this. I also noticed that the truck was the same blue as this odd object.
I've seen some pretty interesting things hanging from the bottom of vehicles before; Superman, miniature human dolls swinging from their hair, stuffed animals... the list goes on. I've never quite understood it, but I suppose it is a valid form of expression. Not one I would chose, but to each their own.
Upon closer inspection I find that this oddly heart shaped item is really a dangling replica of blue balls. That's right... this truck had a matching set of balls. I know the truck was blue, but advertising that you have blue balls wouldn't be a choice I would make. I mean come on... It isn't odd enough that you feel the need to give your truck its own testosterone that you have to also make them blue? How would you even broach that subject with your friends? "Dude guess what. My car has blue balls now. I've been thinking you guys don't make fun of me enough so I decided to add this conversational piece."
I soon discovered that making sure your truck is obviously male is quite the trend in Arkansas. Everywhere we went we saw trucks swinging their own sets of various colors. Apparently truck owners in the state believe all trucks are born female and adding its own sack instantly causes it to change genders. I wonder if this technique works on other items? But I digress.
As redneck as the state of Tennessee can be sometimes I would have thought I would have seen them here before, but I guess the citizens of our state either believe it would be offensive or just don't see the need in having a male truck. I personally don't think I'll ever have a truck, but should I get one someday I can assure you it will not be sporting any balls. Blue or otherwise. Imagine backing too closely to a wall or hitting a low spot in the road. It would be devastatingly painful.
Naturally I had to google these things and as it turns out they have been around since 1998 and not surprisingly several states have banned them. Also not surprising is the fact that most people owning a pair don't care and continue to sport them anyway. The fact that state lawmakers sit around discussing truck balls and whether or not they are vulgar made me laugh so hard I peed my pants just a little. During such a debate in Florida one lawmaker admitted to owning a pair for his truck until his wife made him remove them. This too caused leakage. Only in America could something like this cause both outrage and fascination.
Until next time... Bubbles!!!
