"Dear God." The little boy prayed one night. "Why did you make me different?"
"Why my child," God replied in a gentle tone. "Let me ask you a question first. When you buy a box of crayons, do you prefer a box with only a few colors, or one with many colors?"
"That is easy." The child quickly replied. "I want as many colors as possible."
"And why is that?"
"'Cause. I need different colors for different things I'm coloring."
"Exactly! And when you line those crayons up, how do they compare?"
"Well there are some that are very similar and some that are very different. Like purple is really close to lavender, but not even close to black."
"And what would your pictures look like if all your colors were similar?" God asked the child with pride in his voice.
"They would be very boring and no one would like them."
"That is exactly right." God replied as the light of the moon got brighter in the room. "That is how boring the world would be if I made everyone similar. I make different people because they all have a different role to play. You may not understand why you are as different as a purple crayon is from a black one right now, but one day when only purple will do you will understand."
The little boy smiled. "I'll be ready."
--Chris Pollock 10/25/11
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
Sunday, July 24, 2011
An Odd Statement for your Truck?
While on vacation in Arkansas I noticed something that was both hilarious and deeply disturbing. Maybe it is just me, but I'll let you decide for yourself. Especially given that the state of Tennessee has just recently reiterated the law that prohibits someone from putting something "offensive" on your car where other vehicles can see it.
We stopped at a Wal-Mart for supplies and I noticed something hanging from the trailer hitch of a parked truck beside us. Naturally I had to inspect it. From where I was standing it looked like an upside down, misshapen, blue heart. Naturally as any sane human would I found this a very odd thing to put on a truck. Especially a big burly work truck like this. I also noticed that the truck was the same blue as this odd object.
I've seen some pretty interesting things hanging from the bottom of vehicles before; Superman, miniature human dolls swinging from their hair, stuffed animals... the list goes on. I've never quite understood it, but I suppose it is a valid form of expression. Not one I would chose, but to each their own.
Upon closer inspection I find that this oddly heart shaped item is really a dangling replica of blue balls. That's right... this truck had a matching set of balls. I know the truck was blue, but advertising that you have blue balls wouldn't be a choice I would make. I mean come on... It isn't odd enough that you feel the need to give your truck its own testosterone that you have to also make them blue? How would you even broach that subject with your friends? "Dude guess what. My car has blue balls now. I've been thinking you guys don't make fun of me enough so I decided to add this conversational piece."
I soon discovered that making sure your truck is obviously male is quite the trend in Arkansas. Everywhere we went we saw trucks swinging their own sets of various colors. Apparently truck owners in the state believe all trucks are born female and adding its own sack instantly causes it to change genders. I wonder if this technique works on other items? But I digress.
As redneck as the state of Tennessee can be sometimes I would have thought I would have seen them here before, but I guess the citizens of our state either believe it would be offensive or just don't see the need in having a male truck. I personally don't think I'll ever have a truck, but should I get one someday I can assure you it will not be sporting any balls. Blue or otherwise. Imagine backing too closely to a wall or hitting a low spot in the road. It would be devastatingly painful.
Naturally I had to google these things and as it turns out they have been around since 1998 and not surprisingly several states have banned them. Also not surprising is the fact that most people owning a pair don't care and continue to sport them anyway. The fact that state lawmakers sit around discussing truck balls and whether or not they are vulgar made me laugh so hard I peed my pants just a little. During such a debate in Florida one lawmaker admitted to owning a pair for his truck until his wife made him remove them. This too caused leakage. Only in America could something like this cause both outrage and fascination.
Until next time... Bubbles!!!
We stopped at a Wal-Mart for supplies and I noticed something hanging from the trailer hitch of a parked truck beside us. Naturally I had to inspect it. From where I was standing it looked like an upside down, misshapen, blue heart. Naturally as any sane human would I found this a very odd thing to put on a truck. Especially a big burly work truck like this. I also noticed that the truck was the same blue as this odd object.
I've seen some pretty interesting things hanging from the bottom of vehicles before; Superman, miniature human dolls swinging from their hair, stuffed animals... the list goes on. I've never quite understood it, but I suppose it is a valid form of expression. Not one I would chose, but to each their own.
Upon closer inspection I find that this oddly heart shaped item is really a dangling replica of blue balls. That's right... this truck had a matching set of balls. I know the truck was blue, but advertising that you have blue balls wouldn't be a choice I would make. I mean come on... It isn't odd enough that you feel the need to give your truck its own testosterone that you have to also make them blue? How would you even broach that subject with your friends? "Dude guess what. My car has blue balls now. I've been thinking you guys don't make fun of me enough so I decided to add this conversational piece."
I soon discovered that making sure your truck is obviously male is quite the trend in Arkansas. Everywhere we went we saw trucks swinging their own sets of various colors. Apparently truck owners in the state believe all trucks are born female and adding its own sack instantly causes it to change genders. I wonder if this technique works on other items? But I digress.
As redneck as the state of Tennessee can be sometimes I would have thought I would have seen them here before, but I guess the citizens of our state either believe it would be offensive or just don't see the need in having a male truck. I personally don't think I'll ever have a truck, but should I get one someday I can assure you it will not be sporting any balls. Blue or otherwise. Imagine backing too closely to a wall or hitting a low spot in the road. It would be devastatingly painful.
Naturally I had to google these things and as it turns out they have been around since 1998 and not surprisingly several states have banned them. Also not surprising is the fact that most people owning a pair don't care and continue to sport them anyway. The fact that state lawmakers sit around discussing truck balls and whether or not they are vulgar made me laugh so hard I peed my pants just a little. During such a debate in Florida one lawmaker admitted to owning a pair for his truck until his wife made him remove them. This too caused leakage. Only in America could something like this cause both outrage and fascination.
Until next time... Bubbles!!!
Thursday, May 5, 2011
Different Worlds
You've heard the term "so close, yet so far away"? Turn it around. There are times when two people can be so far away, yet so very close. You may know of these people or you may think it impossible. Regardless here is the story. To avoid confusion we shall call them D and J.
J is the child of the mayor of a small town. D the youngest child of a large family that couldn't afford to keep D around. So from the age of 14 D has been cleaning the same building that J's father worked in.
J was well mannered, well spoken, and well bred. D was too busy trying to survive so the fact that D graduated high school was a miracle.
So at this point the story becomes obvious so I'll skim. J sees D, they start hanging out as friends, friends becomes more, the mayor notices, the mayor forbids them to see each other any more, and they start seeing each other in secret.
Here is the part that makes no sense. The mayor figures it out and it gets to him so badly that he goes nuts. He uses his connections to frame D for murder. J helps D to flee before J's father is able to catch D. J stays behind to try to convince the mayor to drop the madness and do the right thing. The mayor wouldn't back down and D was on the lamb.
I could bore you with all the details of what D did while trying to stay out of jail, but frankly my fingers are tired so I'll get right to it. The longer D was able to evade capture the more crazy it made the mayor. It became an obsession.
Eventually the mayor gets D and in a heroic effort to save D, J gets shot. J's gun goes off accidentally as it flies from J's hand and hits the mayor. Suddenly the D is the only one left standing surrounded by a bunch of muscle men who suddenly realize they aren't getting paid now and lose interest.
So who are D and J? Why was the mayor so dead set against them being together? Does it really matter? The details aren't really relevant. Two people are dead and another's heart will never be the same. The only thing that actually matters here is that love, regardless of its form or how strange it may seem to you, is never worth destroying. The price is always too high.
On that note Ladies, Gentlemen, and Those in Between; I bid you... BUBBLES!!!
J is the child of the mayor of a small town. D the youngest child of a large family that couldn't afford to keep D around. So from the age of 14 D has been cleaning the same building that J's father worked in.
J was well mannered, well spoken, and well bred. D was too busy trying to survive so the fact that D graduated high school was a miracle.
So at this point the story becomes obvious so I'll skim. J sees D, they start hanging out as friends, friends becomes more, the mayor notices, the mayor forbids them to see each other any more, and they start seeing each other in secret.
Here is the part that makes no sense. The mayor figures it out and it gets to him so badly that he goes nuts. He uses his connections to frame D for murder. J helps D to flee before J's father is able to catch D. J stays behind to try to convince the mayor to drop the madness and do the right thing. The mayor wouldn't back down and D was on the lamb.
I could bore you with all the details of what D did while trying to stay out of jail, but frankly my fingers are tired so I'll get right to it. The longer D was able to evade capture the more crazy it made the mayor. It became an obsession.
Eventually the mayor gets D and in a heroic effort to save D, J gets shot. J's gun goes off accidentally as it flies from J's hand and hits the mayor. Suddenly the D is the only one left standing surrounded by a bunch of muscle men who suddenly realize they aren't getting paid now and lose interest.
So who are D and J? Why was the mayor so dead set against them being together? Does it really matter? The details aren't really relevant. Two people are dead and another's heart will never be the same. The only thing that actually matters here is that love, regardless of its form or how strange it may seem to you, is never worth destroying. The price is always too high.
On that note Ladies, Gentlemen, and Those in Between; I bid you... BUBBLES!!!
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
Do We Ever Really?
I have been silent for a while and for the 3 of you who actually read this because there is nothing better to do I sincerely apologize. For the rest of you who never even noticed... congratulations on having a life. Regardless there has been a lot going on so let me try to catch you up to speed before we get to the main topic that inspires today's title.
It all started with a birthday curse. I have a history of bad birthdays, but that is a story (or series of stories) for another time. This year, however, the curse appears to have been broken. I had the best birthday ever. The wonderful man of my life surprised me with a party at Chuck-E-Cheese and I partied the night away watching a freaky mouse run around and playing oddly addictive games with fake gold coins. Made out like a bandit with an awesome stuffed dog wearing a rather fashionable Chuck-E-Cheese hoodie. I thought as many of you are now that a dog's ears would look ridiculous poking out from underneath a hoodie, but it actually works. I considered having my ears stretched so I could go for the same look, but after I realized I wouldn't be able to grow the fur it lost it's luster.
I was also surprised with an awesome bike. This has been one of the biggest reasons for my silence. Ever sunny day we have had since I've spent outside breaking it in. It has a cute little bell and everything. It is one of the cruiser style types that totally looks like me. It has been a blast.
Of course the rest of my time has been spent with storms and hail damage, but that is a depressing subject and our experience nothing compared to that of a whole lot of others. So I'll move on to present day and our actual topic.
I'm the kind of person that does best when I know what is going on, what my plan is, and that I have control over the situation. It is those situations that I am at my best. Regardless of how seemingly impossible the situation is as long as I understand what is going on and have a plan in place that I can control regardless of the outcome of said plan I'm at my best. Some would say that I work best under pressure. I suppose that is probably the best way to put it.
The situations where I have no idea what is going on or as a result how to deal with it... I freak out. I have no idea how to handle a situation that I don't understand. I have a deep unsettling fear of the unknown. When I have no control over what is going on I just don't know how to react and the anxiety soars.
I'm in a place right now where the unknown is seriously staring me in the face. As I'm contemplating it the question arises. Do we ever really have control? Even with a plan in place. Is anything really under control?
So if we consider that we really never have control the question become then, is it the illusion of control that actually gives me peace? If so is that okay, or should I remind myself that even when I think I have control I really don't? Would that then cause me to freak out when I would normally be good or would it cause me to be at peace when I would normally freak out. Or to get even deeper on you would it be possible to develop a balance between the two so I stay a little worried and a little at peace during both stages? If you followed any of this you are indeed special. Just not sure if it is short bus special or genius special.
The point of all this is... Shit happens. It happens daily and sometimes it is really uncool. The thing is it isn't about what life throws at you, (and it will never stop throwing you one shitty storm after another) but rather how you decide to approach it.
Well Ladies, Gentlemen, and Those in Between; I won't be so silent in the coming days so be ready. Until then... BUBBLES!!!
It all started with a birthday curse. I have a history of bad birthdays, but that is a story (or series of stories) for another time. This year, however, the curse appears to have been broken. I had the best birthday ever. The wonderful man of my life surprised me with a party at Chuck-E-Cheese and I partied the night away watching a freaky mouse run around and playing oddly addictive games with fake gold coins. Made out like a bandit with an awesome stuffed dog wearing a rather fashionable Chuck-E-Cheese hoodie. I thought as many of you are now that a dog's ears would look ridiculous poking out from underneath a hoodie, but it actually works. I considered having my ears stretched so I could go for the same look, but after I realized I wouldn't be able to grow the fur it lost it's luster.
I was also surprised with an awesome bike. This has been one of the biggest reasons for my silence. Ever sunny day we have had since I've spent outside breaking it in. It has a cute little bell and everything. It is one of the cruiser style types that totally looks like me. It has been a blast.
Of course the rest of my time has been spent with storms and hail damage, but that is a depressing subject and our experience nothing compared to that of a whole lot of others. So I'll move on to present day and our actual topic.
I'm the kind of person that does best when I know what is going on, what my plan is, and that I have control over the situation. It is those situations that I am at my best. Regardless of how seemingly impossible the situation is as long as I understand what is going on and have a plan in place that I can control regardless of the outcome of said plan I'm at my best. Some would say that I work best under pressure. I suppose that is probably the best way to put it.
The situations where I have no idea what is going on or as a result how to deal with it... I freak out. I have no idea how to handle a situation that I don't understand. I have a deep unsettling fear of the unknown. When I have no control over what is going on I just don't know how to react and the anxiety soars.
I'm in a place right now where the unknown is seriously staring me in the face. As I'm contemplating it the question arises. Do we ever really have control? Even with a plan in place. Is anything really under control?
So if we consider that we really never have control the question become then, is it the illusion of control that actually gives me peace? If so is that okay, or should I remind myself that even when I think I have control I really don't? Would that then cause me to freak out when I would normally be good or would it cause me to be at peace when I would normally freak out. Or to get even deeper on you would it be possible to develop a balance between the two so I stay a little worried and a little at peace during both stages? If you followed any of this you are indeed special. Just not sure if it is short bus special or genius special.
The point of all this is... Shit happens. It happens daily and sometimes it is really uncool. The thing is it isn't about what life throws at you, (and it will never stop throwing you one shitty storm after another) but rather how you decide to approach it.
Well Ladies, Gentlemen, and Those in Between; I won't be so silent in the coming days so be ready. Until then... BUBBLES!!!
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Road Etiquette
I'm not talking about driving etiquette or cutting someone off. I'm talking about more like what goes on with the car or in the car. Let me explain.
I'm driving down the interstate in the middle of rush hour traffic. Cars are everywhere. I'm just going along when suddenly I feel that horrible feeling of a foreign object in my nose. Naturally this isn't something I would be able to do in the presence of polite company, but I'm all alone in my car. Right? So I reach up there and remove the pesky thing and that is that.
Then it hits me. I'm not alone. There are cars everywhere. And in those cars are people. What if someone saw me? What if I run into this stranger at the grocery store and they give me this weird look that says, "Whoa! that is the dude from the interstate the other day that picked his nose". Hey. It could happen.
So I start paying closer attention to the cars around me to see if I'm the only weirdo. It would appear not.
There is a truck not far from me that it would appear ran over some garbage that got stuck on the underneath that the owner is either oblivious too or just doesn't care to let his garbage fly. It is just flapping around waving to all the passerbys. Well that is one for my team I guess. So I continue looking.
Not far ahead of me is a small car with something dangling from underneath the rear bumper. I get closer to investigate. It appears to be some kind of large key chain that is a cartoon resemblance of a guy in baggy pants. The way it is dangling and flopping while the car is in motion makes it look like the guy is hanging from the gallows. I'm embarrassed for the owner of this car now.
So apparently I'm in good company. Road etiquette is obviously not closely monitored. Or is it? You decide, but meanwhile Ladies, Gentlemen, and Those in Between... Bubbles!!!
I'm driving down the interstate in the middle of rush hour traffic. Cars are everywhere. I'm just going along when suddenly I feel that horrible feeling of a foreign object in my nose. Naturally this isn't something I would be able to do in the presence of polite company, but I'm all alone in my car. Right? So I reach up there and remove the pesky thing and that is that.
Then it hits me. I'm not alone. There are cars everywhere. And in those cars are people. What if someone saw me? What if I run into this stranger at the grocery store and they give me this weird look that says, "Whoa! that is the dude from the interstate the other day that picked his nose". Hey. It could happen.
So I start paying closer attention to the cars around me to see if I'm the only weirdo. It would appear not.
There is a truck not far from me that it would appear ran over some garbage that got stuck on the underneath that the owner is either oblivious too or just doesn't care to let his garbage fly. It is just flapping around waving to all the passerbys. Well that is one for my team I guess. So I continue looking.
Not far ahead of me is a small car with something dangling from underneath the rear bumper. I get closer to investigate. It appears to be some kind of large key chain that is a cartoon resemblance of a guy in baggy pants. The way it is dangling and flopping while the car is in motion makes it look like the guy is hanging from the gallows. I'm embarrassed for the owner of this car now.
So apparently I'm in good company. Road etiquette is obviously not closely monitored. Or is it? You decide, but meanwhile Ladies, Gentlemen, and Those in Between... Bubbles!!!
Monday, April 18, 2011
Birthday Surprise by Post
I got my first birthday present of the year. I checked my mail and there addressed to me was a little 2x4x4 box. It was from Marlboro.
A couple years ago I somehow ended up on this mailing list for Marlboro. I have no idea how, but they send me stuff from time to time and the only reason I'm still on the list is because it amuses me to see what they will waste money on next. I once got this really cheap pocket tool knife thing. It broke the first time I went to use it. Their theme with that package was wild west and getting things done. I sure hope they had better tools then what they sent me. Oh and I can't forget the fantastic coasters they sent me once. This ridiculously over sized package shows up in the mail and I open it to find four cardboard coasters (like what you would use at a restaurant) sitting in there with a little note that said, "enjoy these coasters on us". Really?! They didn't even have anything on them. Just plain brown square pieces of pressed cardboard.
You would think they would send coupons or promotional stuff for their company, but aside from the box you wouldn't know it was from Marlboro. I guess I hold out on the off chance that they might send me something useful one day. So every year around my birthday they send me something corny.
So I bring my package in and I'm kind of excited. This could be the year that they send me something I can actually use or at the very least think is cool for five minutes. I take off the plastic wrap and pull the box out of its sleeve. On the top of the box it says something about trails and camp fires. I'm really not paying attention. I open the box and it says something about things being with you on your birthday... Still not paying attention. There nestled inside the protective flaps of the box is something metallic. Is it a belt buckle? Because at this point nothing would surprise me. I finally get it wrestled out of its little nest and after closer inspection determine it is a bottle opener. NOT the little handy dandy one you keep in the drawer on the off chance you may need a bottle opener when you are 80, but the kind like bars have SCREWED to the cabinet! Whoever does their marketing should be fired!
How many Americans do you know (never mind those that live in apartments like me) who would screw a piece of cheap metal to their $5,000 cabinets so that one day when that idiot friend comes over and realizes he didn't get screw off caps and asks where their bottle opener is they can proudly point to the one screwed to their cabinet like they are some big shot bar owner? This is what they wasted their money on?
Maybe it is just me. Maybe some of you were just saying to yourselves this morning how cool it would be to have a screw on bottle opener. Maybe it is something some of you have been dying for. Maybe I'm just a crazy ingrate who can't appreciate a good gift. BUT I highly doubt it.
So I ask you Ladies, Gentlemen, and Those in Between. What kinds of things have you received as a marketing ploy from a company and did you find it useful? Until then... BUBBLES!!!
A couple years ago I somehow ended up on this mailing list for Marlboro. I have no idea how, but they send me stuff from time to time and the only reason I'm still on the list is because it amuses me to see what they will waste money on next. I once got this really cheap pocket tool knife thing. It broke the first time I went to use it. Their theme with that package was wild west and getting things done. I sure hope they had better tools then what they sent me. Oh and I can't forget the fantastic coasters they sent me once. This ridiculously over sized package shows up in the mail and I open it to find four cardboard coasters (like what you would use at a restaurant) sitting in there with a little note that said, "enjoy these coasters on us". Really?! They didn't even have anything on them. Just plain brown square pieces of pressed cardboard.
You would think they would send coupons or promotional stuff for their company, but aside from the box you wouldn't know it was from Marlboro. I guess I hold out on the off chance that they might send me something useful one day. So every year around my birthday they send me something corny.
So I bring my package in and I'm kind of excited. This could be the year that they send me something I can actually use or at the very least think is cool for five minutes. I take off the plastic wrap and pull the box out of its sleeve. On the top of the box it says something about trails and camp fires. I'm really not paying attention. I open the box and it says something about things being with you on your birthday... Still not paying attention. There nestled inside the protective flaps of the box is something metallic. Is it a belt buckle? Because at this point nothing would surprise me. I finally get it wrestled out of its little nest and after closer inspection determine it is a bottle opener. NOT the little handy dandy one you keep in the drawer on the off chance you may need a bottle opener when you are 80, but the kind like bars have SCREWED to the cabinet! Whoever does their marketing should be fired!
How many Americans do you know (never mind those that live in apartments like me) who would screw a piece of cheap metal to their $5,000 cabinets so that one day when that idiot friend comes over and realizes he didn't get screw off caps and asks where their bottle opener is they can proudly point to the one screwed to their cabinet like they are some big shot bar owner? This is what they wasted their money on?
Maybe it is just me. Maybe some of you were just saying to yourselves this morning how cool it would be to have a screw on bottle opener. Maybe it is something some of you have been dying for. Maybe I'm just a crazy ingrate who can't appreciate a good gift. BUT I highly doubt it.
So I ask you Ladies, Gentlemen, and Those in Between. What kinds of things have you received as a marketing ploy from a company and did you find it useful? Until then... BUBBLES!!!
Friday, April 15, 2011
Stop and Jump
Yesterday I jumped on a trampoline for the first time in many years. Obviously I didn't last long before my very out of shape body protested, but while it lasted I got to thinking. Being an adult is hard work. With keeping a job, paying bills, taking care of family... The list is endless it seems sometimes. Constant worry. Or at least that is how it is for me. I may be alone on this one.
Don't get me wrong I really enjoy my life. I have a great partner and we don't go hungry, we have a roof over our heads and a spoiled dog. But sometimes the worries of this life just get overwhelming.
As I'm jumping there on the trampoline experiencing the circle of; shooting up into the air, split second of weightlessness, and then falling back towards the earth. I feel for a few minutes like I did as a child. Just fun for the sake of fun. There is no point to jumping up and down. No agenda. Nothing in my world will have changed when I get done jumping. Just doing it because I can.
Does this story have a point? I'm not really sure yet. I'm thinking that even though we are adults now and we have all this stress and worry about us... Why can't we take a few minutes and revisit those simple pleasures that we had as a child. When life gets overwhelming and I feel like I'm about to break in half. Why can't I stop and jump? (Not over the side of a building! On the trampoline. It is a metaphor! Have you not been listening?) Climb a tree, watch a crazy cartoon, build a tent out of blankets... anything to just for a brief minute connect with that carefree child I once was.
Yes, reality is there and it demands our attention, but can't it wait five minutes for you to stop and jump? I am going to make it my goal to try and find the simple pleasures in life again. Whether it is Bugs Bunny or the view from a tree. (The later might be harder given my aforementioned out of shape body.) I'll deal with life as it comes at me and I'll fight back in part by taking a second to jump.
Now that you have heard my silly tale I want to hear yours. What is an activity that you really enjoyed as a child? Is it something you still find yourself partaking in that activity from time to time? Do you use your children as an excuse for partaking? Do you bring out your inner child's calm carefree attitude to help with your stress on occasion? I'm very interested to see if I'm just a crazy moron. For now, however, that is all I got. So until next time; Ladies, Gentlemen, and Those in Between... BUBBLES!!!
Don't get me wrong I really enjoy my life. I have a great partner and we don't go hungry, we have a roof over our heads and a spoiled dog. But sometimes the worries of this life just get overwhelming.
As I'm jumping there on the trampoline experiencing the circle of; shooting up into the air, split second of weightlessness, and then falling back towards the earth. I feel for a few minutes like I did as a child. Just fun for the sake of fun. There is no point to jumping up and down. No agenda. Nothing in my world will have changed when I get done jumping. Just doing it because I can.
Does this story have a point? I'm not really sure yet. I'm thinking that even though we are adults now and we have all this stress and worry about us... Why can't we take a few minutes and revisit those simple pleasures that we had as a child. When life gets overwhelming and I feel like I'm about to break in half. Why can't I stop and jump? (Not over the side of a building! On the trampoline. It is a metaphor! Have you not been listening?) Climb a tree, watch a crazy cartoon, build a tent out of blankets... anything to just for a brief minute connect with that carefree child I once was.
Yes, reality is there and it demands our attention, but can't it wait five minutes for you to stop and jump? I am going to make it my goal to try and find the simple pleasures in life again. Whether it is Bugs Bunny or the view from a tree. (The later might be harder given my aforementioned out of shape body.) I'll deal with life as it comes at me and I'll fight back in part by taking a second to jump.
Now that you have heard my silly tale I want to hear yours. What is an activity that you really enjoyed as a child? Is it something you still find yourself partaking in that activity from time to time? Do you use your children as an excuse for partaking? Do you bring out your inner child's calm carefree attitude to help with your stress on occasion? I'm very interested to see if I'm just a crazy moron. For now, however, that is all I got. So until next time; Ladies, Gentlemen, and Those in Between... BUBBLES!!!
Thursday, April 14, 2011
Defending the Faith
Everyone believes in something. To say they don't is just plain ignorant. If you don't believe in a god, then you have to believe the earth got here somehow. Thus you believe something. It may not be traditional or widely excepted, but you have a belief. Beyond religious beliefs everyone has other life beliefs. You may believe in being frugal or you may believe in spending everything while you are alive enough to enjoy it. Regardless you have beliefs.
My question today is: How far do you go to defend those beliefs?
We were watching a show about extreme couponing. For the record I applaud those people. But on one portion of it a couple was going through their couponing ritual. The wife was having the time of her life doing something she really believed in, but the husband... well he wasn't happy. This woman was sacrificing whole rooms of her house, huge chunks of her time, and her spouses happiness for what she believed in. That being never paying more than 5% retail for groceries, but is there a point when it is too much?
We read stories of martyrs who died for their faith, or people who gave up love, family, and friends for their faith. Is there a point when the price gets too high and you just have to sit back and quietly believe?
Every decision you make as a free human being is based at least in part on a belief system. If you believe you need to lose weight you choose a salad at lunch instead of the bacon surprise. If you are gluten intolerant like me and you don't believe in getting sick. You don't eat the birthday cake. So we all have beliefs that we use as our guide on a daily basis. Religious or not.
And here is a question. What if two of your beliefs start to contradict each other? Then what? For example: You believe in family first. You put your families needs above everyone else's, you love your family unconditionally, family is important to you. But then one of your family members announces that they are no longer Baptist they are Buddhist. Clearly that is a major belief difference, but you also believe in family. What then?
I know some of you are probably thinking this blog has a gay acceptance subtext, but it really doesn't. I already know all I need to about that so for the purposes of this blog I'm not interested. What I am interested in is how far would you go to defend what you believe in? Whether it is religious or everyday mundane. I hope very much that this post gets some very lively response. Please don't disappoint me or be disrespectful of other's beliefs. I believe everyone deserves respect regardless of their beliefs and I will go a LONG way to defend that belief. So don't be shy. Tell us what you think about defending your beliefs and you have my word that this will remain civil.
I would like to say one more time. This post is NOT about religion or who's god is bigger. Nor do I want to know what you believe. I want to know one thing. Is it possible to say "I'll die for what I believe in" or is it more complicated than that?
A non religious example would be: There is a very historical building in town that has served as a teaching tool for years is set to be torn down. You personally believe that keeping historical landmarks like this one open is important to preserving our past. Your brother whom you are very close to believes it should be torn down. Do you speak out and try to save it, or sit back and let things go?
That is the train of thought I'd like to pursue.
Well Ladies, Gentlemen, and those in between; sorry this has been a heavier than normal topic, but it was on my mind. Until next time... BUBBLES!!!
My question today is: How far do you go to defend those beliefs?
We were watching a show about extreme couponing. For the record I applaud those people. But on one portion of it a couple was going through their couponing ritual. The wife was having the time of her life doing something she really believed in, but the husband... well he wasn't happy. This woman was sacrificing whole rooms of her house, huge chunks of her time, and her spouses happiness for what she believed in. That being never paying more than 5% retail for groceries, but is there a point when it is too much?
We read stories of martyrs who died for their faith, or people who gave up love, family, and friends for their faith. Is there a point when the price gets too high and you just have to sit back and quietly believe?
Every decision you make as a free human being is based at least in part on a belief system. If you believe you need to lose weight you choose a salad at lunch instead of the bacon surprise. If you are gluten intolerant like me and you don't believe in getting sick. You don't eat the birthday cake. So we all have beliefs that we use as our guide on a daily basis. Religious or not.
And here is a question. What if two of your beliefs start to contradict each other? Then what? For example: You believe in family first. You put your families needs above everyone else's, you love your family unconditionally, family is important to you. But then one of your family members announces that they are no longer Baptist they are Buddhist. Clearly that is a major belief difference, but you also believe in family. What then?
I know some of you are probably thinking this blog has a gay acceptance subtext, but it really doesn't. I already know all I need to about that so for the purposes of this blog I'm not interested. What I am interested in is how far would you go to defend what you believe in? Whether it is religious or everyday mundane. I hope very much that this post gets some very lively response. Please don't disappoint me or be disrespectful of other's beliefs. I believe everyone deserves respect regardless of their beliefs and I will go a LONG way to defend that belief. So don't be shy. Tell us what you think about defending your beliefs and you have my word that this will remain civil.
I would like to say one more time. This post is NOT about religion or who's god is bigger. Nor do I want to know what you believe. I want to know one thing. Is it possible to say "I'll die for what I believe in" or is it more complicated than that?
A non religious example would be: There is a very historical building in town that has served as a teaching tool for years is set to be torn down. You personally believe that keeping historical landmarks like this one open is important to preserving our past. Your brother whom you are very close to believes it should be torn down. Do you speak out and try to save it, or sit back and let things go?
That is the train of thought I'd like to pursue.
Well Ladies, Gentlemen, and those in between; sorry this has been a heavier than normal topic, but it was on my mind. Until next time... BUBBLES!!!
Saturday, April 9, 2011
Photo Malpractice
I decided to get a passport. No, I am not traveling outside of the country I have just always wanted one. There were other considerations at the time that pushed me to it, but the basic reason to get it was simply because it would make me feel important.
Now everyone knows that you look terrible in your driver's license and passport photos. I think they do it on purpose so you can't copy it and put it in your family Christmas cards. Whatever the reason it is the unwritten law of the world that those official IDs must have a terrible picture of the barer. That having been said I think they went to extreme lengths with mine.
You can see by my profile picture that I wear facial hair. Just a little scruffy. Not a beard. Five o'clock shadow I think it is called. It can get a little longer if I am lazy, but most of the time just a little scruff. The day I went to get my passport photo I had just a touch over a five o'clock. I had shaved the day before down to my normal scruff. The length of my facial hair is very important. Again I point you to my profile picture. That is almost exactly how my facial hair looked when I looked into the mirror that morning before setting out to get my passport.
I sit on the stool in front of the little white background and the lady snaps my picture. She shows it to me and my hair was a little messed up so I smoothed it and she took another. Showed it to me and I was satisfied that it looked as good as it was going to get. This, however, is what popped out of the printer...
I swear as God is my witness this has not been altered or photo shopped in any way. The printer put a freaking beard on me and made my face fat! So I had to ask myself... Why? What could the passport photo printer possibly have against me? Then it hit me. That poor photo printer has to sit there pumping out semi smiling faces day in and day out with no variety at all. So in a moment of spite it put a beard on my picture and took comfort in the fact that I would be questioned at every boarder crossing and suspected of terrorism. It decided to make me look like a stereo typical terrorist so that it could get a little giggle.
Well the joke is on it! The probability of me ever actually using the passport is very slim! And THAT ladies, gentlemen, and those in between; is all for now. Until next time... BUBBLES!!!
Now everyone knows that you look terrible in your driver's license and passport photos. I think they do it on purpose so you can't copy it and put it in your family Christmas cards. Whatever the reason it is the unwritten law of the world that those official IDs must have a terrible picture of the barer. That having been said I think they went to extreme lengths with mine.
You can see by my profile picture that I wear facial hair. Just a little scruffy. Not a beard. Five o'clock shadow I think it is called. It can get a little longer if I am lazy, but most of the time just a little scruff. The day I went to get my passport photo I had just a touch over a five o'clock. I had shaved the day before down to my normal scruff. The length of my facial hair is very important. Again I point you to my profile picture. That is almost exactly how my facial hair looked when I looked into the mirror that morning before setting out to get my passport.
I sit on the stool in front of the little white background and the lady snaps my picture. She shows it to me and my hair was a little messed up so I smoothed it and she took another. Showed it to me and I was satisfied that it looked as good as it was going to get. This, however, is what popped out of the printer...
I swear as God is my witness this has not been altered or photo shopped in any way. The printer put a freaking beard on me and made my face fat! So I had to ask myself... Why? What could the passport photo printer possibly have against me? Then it hit me. That poor photo printer has to sit there pumping out semi smiling faces day in and day out with no variety at all. So in a moment of spite it put a beard on my picture and took comfort in the fact that I would be questioned at every boarder crossing and suspected of terrorism. It decided to make me look like a stereo typical terrorist so that it could get a little giggle.
Well the joke is on it! The probability of me ever actually using the passport is very slim! And THAT ladies, gentlemen, and those in between; is all for now. Until next time... BUBBLES!!!
Friday, April 8, 2011
Was I supposed to?
For those of you just getting to know me... I have no social skills. This causes some interesting scenes to unfold like the one I just experienced.
So that you can get the full view of this story you need to understand my mindset of the time. For that you will need a little back story. (Just a smidge so don't take that as your queue to lose interest in this story already.)
Our lovely dog Deva has been a little attention starved the last few days. It has been a crazy week and contrary to popular belief the world does not revolve around her. She has decided to show her frustration with the perceived lack of attention by peeing on the floor. This seriously bothers me so I'm planning to shampoo the carpets. I hate shampooing the carpets with passion so I'm not in the greatest of moods as I head to the store to find the best shampoo to save my carpets.
As we have already established this is not my favorite chore so I'm spending a lot of time making sure that what I select to clean the carpet is the best option. Doing this a second time is not an option. I finally make my selection after about 30 minutes or so, grab some dog food, (because not feeding her would be considered abuse and therefore illegal) and head to the register.
As I'm walking to the register one cashier is finishing up with a customer and it appears the other is just starting. So I naturally choose the one finishing up. I'm tired and I want to get this project over with as soon as possible. Shockingly the cashier walks off with the customer she just checked out and they continue a conversation about their own dogs in the middle of the exit door. She keeps glancing over at me, but makes no moves to come back. So I glanced up at the register light to make sure she wasn't closed. Nope still on. By this time three other people had lined up at the register still being manned. One lady in the other line kept starring at me like I should move over to that line and I was crazy for staying put. I can't decide if she is right or if I should yell at the cashier to get back to her post. I consider that the cashier is not a soldier so post probably isn't the best word. Meanwhile the cashier keeps glancing over at me and it is clear she is supposed to come back, but chooses not to. Do I change to the other line or just keep standing there like an idiot? I choose the idiot. Literally five minutes later (I swear I'm not exaggerating) she comes back to her register after finishing her conversation and smiles at me like nothing weird had just happened. So I wondered. Did it?
I finish with the weird cashier and go out to the parking lot with my buggy loaded with the upcoming chore. I have to go across the main drive and up a ramp to get to the parking lot. Right behind me is the lady from the other line. I put my items in the trunk and head back to the store to return my buggy just ahead of the lady also returning her buggy. As I turn the corner to go down the ramp I notice her going after another buggy as well that someone else left in the parking lot. I think "wow that is really nice of her". What do I get for my good thoughts? An evil stare. I begin to wonder if I've done something to offend this lady. I return my buggy inside the store and pass her on the way back to my car now with two buggies and again I think "wow that is really nice of her". Again I get another dirty look. Then I begin to wonder if I was supposed to offer to take the buggies to the front for her? Personally I think if I had to return mine she should have to return hers. Am I right or is that just my social ineptitude?
Seriously I welcome your comments and feed back on this my social misgivings. Should I have done something differently with either the weird cashier or the dagger staring lady? Those of you with social grace and or opinions speak out. Until then... Ladies, Gentlemen, and those in between; BUBBLES!!!!
Proof of Nerdism
If "nerdism" was a word and you were to look it up on wiki it would most likely have an example similar to this...
So I got this crazy idea the other day that I needed business cards. I do not own a business and I never find myself in a situation that requires handing out my personal contact information, but it still seemed vital that I have a business card. I think it may have something to do with the fact that we have a fax number that was rather recently acquired (a whole other story for another time) and that makes me feel important.
Regardless of the reason, once it was in my head that I needed them I had to make them. So after work today I stopped at Staples and took 30 minutes to pick out a pack of the printable business card sheets. Yes, it really took me that long. After all, what your cards are printed on says everything about the person presenting them. Right? So I had to be sure.
So after ensuring I was quite happy with my selection I get home and downloaded the template software to get started. I ended up hating all the templates and started from scratch, BUT whilst fooling around with their software I noticed a really cool feature. You could put barcodes on your documents. I thought to myself how freaking cool would it be to have my contact info as a barcode on the back of my business cards? So I fooled around with it for a while (time flies when you are wasting it on worthless projects) and determined that barcodes are actually not very practical for contact info.
Next I researched QR codes. A lot of info in a much smaller space. At first I made one code for each of my four contact methods: phone, fax, email, website. I was soooo very excited after I printed a test page out to make sure my phone could scan them. They did all work, but it looked a little tacky having four different QR codes. So I continued my research of QR code generators and found one that fabulously wraps all my contact info including my birthday into one neat little code. Now here is the best part... I tried it out and not only does it pop up all my info when I scan it, but all you have to do is push "add contact" and BAM I'm in your phone! Tell me that isn't cool?!
So there you have it. I have an awesome looking business card on one side, a practical QR code on the other, and absolutely no real reason to have them. The best part, however, is that it only took me roughly 3 hours to make them. If this is not proof that nerdism is alive and well within me... then nothing will.
And that ladies, gentlemen, and those in between is all I have for now. Until next time... BUBBLES!!!
So I got this crazy idea the other day that I needed business cards. I do not own a business and I never find myself in a situation that requires handing out my personal contact information, but it still seemed vital that I have a business card. I think it may have something to do with the fact that we have a fax number that was rather recently acquired (a whole other story for another time) and that makes me feel important.
Regardless of the reason, once it was in my head that I needed them I had to make them. So after work today I stopped at Staples and took 30 minutes to pick out a pack of the printable business card sheets. Yes, it really took me that long. After all, what your cards are printed on says everything about the person presenting them. Right? So I had to be sure.
So after ensuring I was quite happy with my selection I get home and downloaded the template software to get started. I ended up hating all the templates and started from scratch, BUT whilst fooling around with their software I noticed a really cool feature. You could put barcodes on your documents. I thought to myself how freaking cool would it be to have my contact info as a barcode on the back of my business cards? So I fooled around with it for a while (time flies when you are wasting it on worthless projects) and determined that barcodes are actually not very practical for contact info.
Next I researched QR codes. A lot of info in a much smaller space. At first I made one code for each of my four contact methods: phone, fax, email, website. I was soooo very excited after I printed a test page out to make sure my phone could scan them. They did all work, but it looked a little tacky having four different QR codes. So I continued my research of QR code generators and found one that fabulously wraps all my contact info including my birthday into one neat little code. Now here is the best part... I tried it out and not only does it pop up all my info when I scan it, but all you have to do is push "add contact" and BAM I'm in your phone! Tell me that isn't cool?!
So there you have it. I have an awesome looking business card on one side, a practical QR code on the other, and absolutely no real reason to have them. The best part, however, is that it only took me roughly 3 hours to make them. If this is not proof that nerdism is alive and well within me... then nothing will.
And that ladies, gentlemen, and those in between is all I have for now. Until next time... BUBBLES!!!
Thursday, April 7, 2011
Introduction
Hello Ladies, Gentlemen, and those in between.
This is my introduction to the blogging world. I am an average person with an average job living an average life so the probability that I will have anything life altering to say is very minimal. I do, however, view the world very differently so while reading my posts may not have any real impact on your life... I promise it will be entertaining.
Hmm... Other things you should know about me are:
I am 26 years old soon to be 27 on the 24th of this month
I live with my wonderful partner of almost 3 years who spoils me rotten and is the best thing that ever happened to me
My favorite color is blue (I know clichè, but it really is)
I have Celiac disease (gluten intolerant)
I love giving advise and am not so great at taking it
My favorite TV show of all time is Friends
My favorite movie of all time is EverAfter
I love long walks on the... Oops wrong post...
I'm an attention whore
And I'm pretty sure that is all the important stuff. Hopefully you will continue to read my posts and get to know me better. Until then... BUBBLES!!!!! (Kudos to those of you who have any idea what that is from... shame on you to those who don't)
This is my introduction to the blogging world. I am an average person with an average job living an average life so the probability that I will have anything life altering to say is very minimal. I do, however, view the world very differently so while reading my posts may not have any real impact on your life... I promise it will be entertaining.
Hmm... Other things you should know about me are:
I am 26 years old soon to be 27 on the 24th of this month
I live with my wonderful partner of almost 3 years who spoils me rotten and is the best thing that ever happened to me
My favorite color is blue (I know clichè, but it really is)
I have Celiac disease (gluten intolerant)
I love giving advise and am not so great at taking it
My favorite TV show of all time is Friends
My favorite movie of all time is EverAfter
I love long walks on the... Oops wrong post...
I'm an attention whore
And I'm pretty sure that is all the important stuff. Hopefully you will continue to read my posts and get to know me better. Until then... BUBBLES!!!!! (Kudos to those of you who have any idea what that is from... shame on you to those who don't)
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