Road Etiquette

I'm not talking about driving etiquette or cutting someone off. I'm talking about more like what goes on with the car or in the car. Let me explain.

I'm driving down the interstate in the middle of rush hour traffic. Cars are everywhere. I'm just going along when suddenly I feel that horrible feeling of a foreign object in my nose. Naturally this isn't something I would be able to do in the presence of polite company, but I'm all alone in my car. Right? So I reach up there and remove the pesky thing and that is that.

Then it hits me. I'm not alone. There are cars everywhere. And in those cars are people. What if someone saw me? What if I run into this stranger at the grocery store and they give me this weird look that says, "Whoa! that is the dude from the interstate the other day that picked his nose". Hey. It could happen.

So I start paying closer attention to the cars around me to see if I'm the only weirdo. It would appear not.

There is a truck not far from me that it would appear ran over some garbage that got stuck on the underneath that the owner is either oblivious too or just doesn't care to let his garbage fly. It is just flapping around waving to all the passerbys. Well that is one for my team I guess. So I continue looking.

Not far ahead of me is a small car with something dangling from underneath the rear bumper. I get closer to investigate. It appears to be some kind of large key chain that is a cartoon resemblance of a guy in baggy pants. The way it is dangling and flopping while the car is in motion makes it look like the guy is hanging from the gallows. I'm embarrassed for the owner of this car now.

So apparently I'm in good company. Road etiquette is obviously not closely monitored. Or is it? You decide, but meanwhile Ladies, Gentlemen, and Those in Between... Bubbles!!!

Birthday Surprise by Post

I got my first birthday present of the year. I checked my mail and there addressed to me was a little 2x4x4 box. It was from Marlboro.

A couple years ago I somehow ended up on this mailing list for Marlboro. I have no idea how, but they send me stuff from time to time and the only reason I'm still on the list is because it amuses me to see what they will waste money on next. I once got this really cheap pocket tool knife thing. It broke the first time I went to use it. Their theme with that package was wild west and getting things done. I sure hope they had better tools then what they sent me. Oh and I can't forget the fantastic coasters they sent me once. This ridiculously over sized package shows up in the mail and I open it to find four cardboard coasters (like what you would use at a restaurant) sitting in there with a little note that said, "enjoy these coasters on us". Really?! They didn't even have anything on them. Just plain brown square pieces of pressed cardboard.

You would think they would send coupons or promotional stuff for their company, but aside from the box you wouldn't know it was from Marlboro. I guess I hold out on the off chance that they might send me something useful one day. So every year around my birthday they send me something corny.

So I bring my package in and I'm kind of excited. This could be the year that they send me something I can actually use or at the very least think is cool for five minutes. I take off the plastic wrap and pull the box out of its sleeve. On the top of the box it says something about trails and camp fires. I'm really not paying attention. I open the box and it says something about things being with you on your birthday... Still not paying attention. There nestled inside the protective flaps of the box is something metallic. Is it a belt buckle? Because at this point nothing would surprise me. I finally get it wrestled out of its little nest and after closer inspection determine it is a bottle opener. NOT the little handy dandy one you keep in the drawer on the off chance you may need a bottle opener when you are 80, but the kind like bars have SCREWED to the cabinet! Whoever does their marketing should be fired!

How many Americans do you know (never mind those that live in apartments like me) who would screw a piece of cheap metal to their $5,000 cabinets so that one day when that idiot friend comes over and realizes he didn't get screw off caps and asks where their bottle opener is they can proudly point to the one screwed to their cabinet like they are some big shot bar owner? This is what they wasted their money on?

Maybe it is just me. Maybe some of you were just saying to yourselves this morning how cool it would be to have a screw on bottle opener. Maybe it is something some of you have been dying for. Maybe I'm just a crazy ingrate who can't appreciate a good gift. BUT I highly doubt it.

So I ask you Ladies, Gentlemen, and Those in Between. What kinds of things have you received as a marketing ploy from a company and did you find it useful? Until then... BUBBLES!!!

Stop and Jump

Yesterday I jumped on a trampoline for the first time in many years. Obviously I didn't last long before my very out of shape body protested, but while it lasted I got to thinking. Being an adult is hard work. With keeping a job, paying bills, taking care of family... The list is endless it seems sometimes. Constant worry. Or at least that is how it is for me. I may be alone on this one.

Don't get me wrong I really enjoy my life. I have a great partner and we don't go hungry, we have a roof over our heads and a spoiled dog. But sometimes the worries of this life just get overwhelming.

As I'm jumping there on the trampoline experiencing the circle of; shooting up into the air, split second of weightlessness, and then falling back towards the earth. I feel for a few minutes like I did as a child. Just fun for the sake of fun. There is no point to jumping up and down. No agenda. Nothing in my world will have changed when I get done jumping. Just doing it because I can.

Does this story have a point? I'm not really sure yet. I'm thinking that even though we are adults now and we have all this stress and worry about us... Why can't we take a few minutes and revisit those simple pleasures that we had as a child. When life gets overwhelming and I feel like I'm about to break in half. Why can't I stop and jump? (Not over the side of a building! On the trampoline. It is a metaphor! Have you not been listening?) Climb a tree, watch a crazy cartoon, build a tent out of blankets... anything to just for a brief minute connect with that carefree child I once was.

Yes, reality is there and it demands our attention, but can't it wait five minutes for you to stop and jump? I am going to make it my goal to try and find the simple pleasures in life again. Whether it is Bugs Bunny or the view from a tree. (The later might be harder given my aforementioned out of shape body.) I'll deal with life as it comes at me and I'll fight back in part by taking a second to jump.

Now that you have heard my silly tale I want to hear yours. What is an activity that you really enjoyed as a child? Is it something you still find yourself partaking in that activity from time to time? Do you use your children as an excuse for partaking? Do you bring out your inner child's calm carefree attitude to help with your stress on occasion? I'm very interested to see if I'm just a crazy moron. For now, however, that is all I got. So until next time; Ladies, Gentlemen, and Those in Between... BUBBLES!!!

Defending the Faith

Everyone believes in something. To say they don't is just plain ignorant. If you don't believe in a god, then you have to believe the earth got here somehow. Thus you believe something. It may not be traditional or widely excepted, but you have a belief. Beyond religious beliefs everyone has other life beliefs. You may believe in being frugal or you may believe in spending everything while you are alive enough to enjoy it. Regardless you have beliefs.

My question today is: How far do you go to defend those beliefs?

We were watching a show about extreme couponing. For the record I applaud those people. But on one portion of it a couple was going through their couponing ritual. The wife was having the time of her life doing something she really believed in, but the husband... well he wasn't happy. This woman was sacrificing whole rooms of her house, huge chunks of her time, and her spouses happiness for what she believed in. That being never paying more than 5% retail for groceries, but is there a point when it is too much?

We read stories of martyrs who died for their faith, or people who gave up love, family, and friends for their faith. Is there a point when the price gets too high and you just have to sit back and quietly believe?

Every decision you make as a free human being is based at least in part on a belief system. If you believe you need to lose weight you choose a salad at lunch instead of the bacon surprise. If you are gluten intolerant like me and you don't believe in getting sick. You don't eat the birthday cake. So we all have beliefs that we use as our guide on a daily basis. Religious or not.

And here is a question. What if two of your beliefs start to contradict each other? Then what? For example: You believe in family first. You put your families needs above everyone else's, you love your family unconditionally, family is important to you. But then one of your family members announces that they are no longer Baptist they are Buddhist. Clearly that is a major belief difference, but you also believe in family. What then?

I know some of you are probably thinking this blog has a gay acceptance subtext, but it really doesn't. I already know all I need to about that so for the purposes of this blog I'm not interested. What I am interested in is how far would you go to defend what you believe in? Whether it is religious or everyday mundane. I hope very much that this post gets some very lively response. Please don't disappoint me or be disrespectful of other's beliefs. I believe everyone deserves respect regardless of their beliefs and I will go a LONG way to defend that belief. So don't be shy. Tell us what you think about defending your beliefs and you have my word that this will remain civil.

I would like to say one more time. This post is NOT about religion or who's god is bigger. Nor do I want to know what you believe. I want to know one thing. Is it possible to say "I'll die for what I believe in" or is it more complicated than that?

A non religious example would be: There is a very historical building in town that has served as a teaching tool for years is set to be torn down. You personally believe that keeping historical landmarks like this one open is important to preserving our past. Your brother whom you are very close to believes it should be torn down. Do you speak out and try to save it, or sit back and let things go?

That is the train of thought I'd like to pursue.

Well Ladies, Gentlemen, and those in between; sorry this has been a heavier than normal topic, but it was on my mind. Until next time... BUBBLES!!!

Photo Malpractice

I decided to get a passport. No, I am not traveling outside of the country I have just always wanted one. There were other considerations at the time that pushed me to it, but the basic reason to get it was simply because it would make me feel important.

Now everyone knows that you look terrible in your driver's license and passport photos. I think they do it on purpose so you can't copy it and put it in your family Christmas cards. Whatever the reason it is the unwritten law of the world that those official IDs must have a terrible picture of the barer. That having been said I think they went to extreme lengths with mine.

You can see by my profile picture that I wear facial hair. Just a little scruffy. Not a beard. Five o'clock shadow I think it is called. It can get a little longer if I am lazy, but most of the time just a little scruff. The day I went to get my passport photo I had just a touch over a five o'clock. I had shaved the day before down to my normal scruff. The length of my facial hair is very important. Again I point you to my profile picture. That is almost exactly how my facial hair looked when I looked into the mirror that morning before setting out to get my passport.

I sit on the stool in front of the little white background and the lady snaps my picture. She shows it to me and my hair was a little messed up so I smoothed it and she took another. Showed it to me and I was satisfied that it looked as good as it was going to get. This, however, is what popped out of the printer...






I swear as God is my witness this has not been altered or photo shopped in any way. The printer put a freaking beard on me and made my face fat! So I had to ask myself... Why? What could the passport photo printer possibly have against me? Then it hit me. That poor photo printer has to sit there pumping out semi smiling faces day in and day out with no variety at all. So in a moment of spite it put a beard on my picture and took comfort in the fact that I would be questioned at every boarder crossing and suspected of terrorism. It decided to make me look like a stereo typical terrorist so that it could get a little giggle.

Well the joke is on it! The probability of me ever actually using the passport is very slim! And THAT ladies, gentlemen, and those in between; is all for now. Until next time... BUBBLES!!!

Was I supposed to?

For those of you just getting to know me... I have no social skills. This causes some interesting scenes to unfold like the one I just experienced.

So that you can get the full view of this story you need to understand my mindset of the time. For that you will need a little back story. (Just a smidge so don't take that as your queue to lose interest in this story already.)

Our lovely dog Deva has been a little attention starved the last few days. It has been a crazy week and contrary to popular belief the world does not revolve around her. She has decided to show her frustration with the perceived lack of attention by peeing on the floor. This seriously bothers me so I'm planning to shampoo the carpets. I hate shampooing the carpets with passion so I'm not in the greatest of moods as I head to the store to find the best shampoo to save my carpets. 

As we have already established this is not my favorite chore so I'm spending a lot of time making sure that what I select to clean the carpet is the best option. Doing this a second time is not an option. I finally make my selection after about 30 minutes or so, grab some dog food, (because not feeding her would be considered abuse and therefore illegal) and head to the register. 

As I'm walking to the register one cashier is finishing up with a customer and it appears the other is just starting. So I naturally choose the one finishing up. I'm tired and I want to get this project over with as soon as possible. Shockingly the cashier walks off with the customer she just checked out and they continue a conversation about their own dogs in the middle of the exit door. She keeps glancing over at me, but makes no moves to come back. So I glanced up at the register light to make sure she wasn't closed. Nope still on. By this time three other people had lined up at the register still being manned. One lady in the other line kept starring at me like I should move over to that line and I was crazy for staying put. I can't decide if she is right or if I should yell at the cashier to get back to her post. I consider that the cashier is not a soldier so post probably isn't the best word. Meanwhile the cashier keeps glancing over at me and it is clear she is supposed to come back, but chooses not to. Do I change to the other line or just keep standing there like an idiot? I choose the idiot. Literally five minutes later (I swear I'm not exaggerating) she comes back to her register after finishing her conversation and smiles at me like nothing weird had just happened. So I wondered. Did it?

I finish with the weird cashier and go out to the parking lot with my buggy loaded with the upcoming chore. I have to go across the main drive and up a ramp to get to the parking lot. Right behind me is the lady from the other line. I put my items in the trunk and head back to the store to return my buggy just ahead of the lady also returning her buggy. As I turn the corner to go down the ramp I notice her going after another buggy as well that someone else left in the parking lot. I think "wow that is really nice of her". What do I get for my good thoughts? An evil stare. I begin to wonder if I've done something to offend this lady. I return my buggy inside the store and pass her on the way back to my car now with two buggies and again I think "wow that is really nice of her". Again I get another dirty look. Then I begin to wonder if I was supposed to offer to take the buggies to the front for her? Personally I think if I had to return mine she should have to return hers. Am I right or is that just my social ineptitude?

Seriously I welcome your comments and feed back on this my social misgivings. Should I have done something differently with either the weird cashier or the dagger staring lady? Those of you with social grace and or opinions speak out. Until then... Ladies, Gentlemen, and those in between; BUBBLES!!!!

Proof of Nerdism

If "nerdism" was a word and you were to look it up on wiki it would most likely have an example similar to this...

So I got this crazy idea the other day that I needed business cards. I do not own a business and I never find myself in a situation that requires handing out my personal contact information, but it still seemed vital that I have a business card. I think it may have something to do with the fact that we have a fax number that was rather recently acquired (a whole other story for another time) and that makes me feel important.

Regardless of the reason, once it was in my head that I needed them I had to make them. So after work today I stopped at Staples and took 30 minutes to pick out a pack of the printable business card sheets. Yes, it really took me that long. After all, what your cards are printed on says everything about the person presenting them. Right? So I had to be sure.

So after ensuring I was quite happy with my selection I get home and downloaded the template software to get started. I ended up hating all the templates and started from scratch, BUT whilst fooling around with their software I noticed a really cool feature. You could put barcodes on your documents. I thought to myself how freaking cool would it be to have my contact info as a barcode on the back of my business cards? So I fooled around with it for a while (time flies when you are wasting it on worthless projects) and determined that barcodes are actually not very practical for contact info.

Next I researched QR codes. A lot of info in a much smaller space. At first I made one code for each of my four contact methods: phone, fax, email, website. I was soooo very excited after I printed a test page out to make sure my phone could scan them. They did all work, but it looked a little tacky having four different QR codes. So I continued my research of QR code generators and found one that fabulously wraps all my contact info including my birthday into one neat little code. Now here is the best part... I tried it out and not only does it pop up all my info when I scan it, but all you have to do is push "add contact" and BAM I'm in your phone! Tell me that isn't cool?!

So there you have it. I have an awesome looking business card on one side, a practical QR code on the other, and absolutely no real reason to have them. The best part, however, is that it only took me roughly 3 hours to make them. If this is not proof that nerdism is alive and well within me... then nothing will.

And that ladies, gentlemen, and those in between is all I have for now. Until next time... BUBBLES!!!

Introduction

Hello Ladies, Gentlemen, and those in between.

This is my introduction to the blogging world. I am an average person with an average job living an average life so the probability that I will have anything life altering to say is very minimal. I do, however, view the world very differently so while reading my posts may not have any real impact on your life... I promise it will be entertaining.

Hmm... Other things you should know about me are:
I am 26 years old soon to be 27 on the 24th of this month
I live with my wonderful partner of almost 3 years who spoils me rotten and is the best thing that ever happened to me
My favorite color is blue (I know clichè, but it really is)
I have Celiac disease (gluten intolerant)
I love giving advise and am not so great at taking it
My favorite TV show of all time is Friends
My favorite movie of all time is EverAfter
I love long walks on the... Oops wrong post...
I'm an attention whore

And I'm pretty sure that is all the important stuff. Hopefully you will continue to read my posts and get to know me better. Until then... BUBBLES!!!!! (Kudos to those of you who have any idea what that is from... shame on you to those who don't)